The Strange, Strange Case of the “Delco Pooper”

The so-called Delco Pooper (image provided)

UPDATE 5/1 4:45pm: Police say the Delco Pooper is this 42-year-old Ridley Park resident, who has been charged with several offenses.

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The Strange, Strange Case of the “Delco Pooper”

One of the things that’s fun about this job is that it truly changes daily. Boring it is not. I wake up in the morning never knowing what funny, awful, or bizarre thing happened. And, well, sometimes — not often — something happens that is the funny-awful-bizarre trifecta. (Remember this guy?!) And so I give you the so-called Delco Pooper.

Details are a little slim on this one. But when you have the public pitchforking (and believe me, the pitchforks are out) over someone they are calling the Delco Pooper, it’s hard not to delve into the rabbit hole.

So based on everything I’ve reviewed, here’s the situation. On Tuesday at the intersection of 4th and Madison in Prospect Park, there was some sort of road rage dispute. And one of the people involved in said road rage dispute did something that no one expected. Something heretofore unthinkable.

The woman, seen in the photo above, walked over to a gray car. She squatted on the hood. And, well, it appears that she pooped. Then she walked away with a defiant, almost giggly smile. The woman in the gray car then calls the Delco pooper a “slut,” which, in my thinking, is an awful thing to call someone but is also the least bad thing that could happen after someone poops on the hood of the car that you’re sitting in.

How do I know all of this? Because I’ve seen video of the Delco pooper in action. And the video, which isn’t available for me to link to in any public forums (it’s circulating in private members-only groups), makes her dirty deed quite clear. I’m not allowed to show you the full squatting incident, but the powers-that-be say I can show you the, well, aftermath. But I should warn you that it is, well, graphic, in a you-just-walked-into-a-gas-station-bathroom kind of way:

This was all the talk of Delco on Wednesday, as is it today. By late Wednesday night, internet sleuths believed they had identified the woman based on the visual similarities of the Delco Pooper and the Facebook profile photo of a woman who lives in Delco. But that woman, who I’m not naming here, swears she’s not the Delco Pooper. Perhaps a DNA swab would clear this up?

Prospect Park police chief Dave Madonna tells me that his department is investigating the messy incident. “We can’t have things like this happening in Prospect park,” he insists.

Lots of people actually seem to think that the whole Delco Pooper video is a fake. But, here, Madonna explains why they are full of, well, you know what.

[Ed. Note: An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated that the Delco Pooper incident happened on Wednesday.]

Speaking of Crazy Videos…

The driver of the bus seen pushing a car down the street in a viral video is no longer working for SEPTA. Seems like using your bus to push a car down the street that didn’t want to be pushed down the street would be a no-no.

Also a No-No

Stealing a cat! But two kids apparently did just that. I say their sentence should include a year of cleaning out all the litter boxes in the neighborhood.

I Believe They Call Them “Cozy”

A new report tells us that we have some of the smallest new apartments in the nation.

By the Numbers

86 degrees: Forecasted high for Philly this Saturday. So, yay to that. Not so great: looks like some rain and maybe thunderstorms. But it looks like the wet weather won’t hit until later in the day, so you can still get your fill in at the Southeast Asian Food Market at FDR Park.

$91 million: Budget gap at the beleaguered Camden City School District just over the bridge. And unfortunately, that means layoffs and other bad news.

$45,000: What a Bucks County woman just lost in this crazy used car scam. But, hey, at least no one pooped on her car!

Local Talent

If you’re a David Lynch fan, you probably know that he lived in Philadelphia for a time and that he’s said that Philadelphia came to influence his rather one-of-a-kind vision of the world. The neighborhood where Lynch lived has been dubbed The Eraserhood, a reference to his movie Eraserhead, which is either the most amazing thing ever or the worst movie ever made depending on who you talk to. On Friday, that neighborhood is hosting its inaugural Eraserhood Fest, in memory of the late filmmaker. And it seems appropriately weird.